


Honey, you're my Light

by Eshisakka



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Anxiety, Connie says one swear word so be warned, Established Relationship, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Jam Buds, Kissing, Mayyybe could be qpr connverse, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s06e19 I Am My Monster, Pre-Episode: s06e20 The Future, Steven's pov, Sweet, brief anxiety, but this has kissing so idk, i dunno how relationships of any kind work tbh, i dunno what to tag this, i mean that's how i personally like to see them, just Con and Steeb hanging out and being adorable, my last fic was dark so here's some fluff for y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:54:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23781958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eshisakka/pseuds/Eshisakka
Summary: Connie comes to Steven's house to take a break from studying. One bad episode of a random show later, they find themselves discussing something more.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 10
Kudos: 91





	Honey, you're my Light

“Ugh, I can't...” Connie said something beyond that as she flopped onto Steven’s bed, but at that point she was murmuring and muffling her face into his blanket. Steven looked down at her with a sympathetic, if a bit sad and worried smile. “Bad day?”

“Bad _everything_.” She groaned for a bit more like a dying frog, then turned her face so that she wasn't suffocating anymore. “Ugh, I don't know, I mean- not _everything_ , but it's just. So stressful lately, and I’m starting to barely finish work on time and it all just _sucks_."

Steven felt his heart breaking a bit. She usually liked studying. From what he knew, school was supposed to be fun, learning was supposed to be fun, and it was so important to her, so to hear that she been struggling with it so much? It just hurt to hear. He wished he had more experience with this stuff so that he’d know how to properly help. “Oh, I'm sorry, Connie... i-is there anything I can do for you? Or maybe the gems? Pearl knows stuff, and Garnet gives good advice, and Amethyst can we surprisingly helpful at times, maybe you could talk to them?”

Connie sighed. “No, Steven, I don't think... I just, I just need to take a break, I think. I can figure this out. It's just... tiring.”

“Oh...” Steven fidgeted with the blanket. “okay.”

She looked at him. Her gaze softened. “I think I just need to spend some time with you.”

Steven processed this for a bit, then stared. “oh?”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “C'mon, what should we do?”

He unconsciously resumed fidgeting as he tensed under the pressure. “Um. I don't know, I...”

Even as he stared at her, knowing she could read the thoughts displayed on his face, she simply continued smiling, moving slightly to prop her head on her hand, inviting him to go on.

“I...” he tore his eyes away to look around the room. He considered the options. TV, they could watch a movie; Connie's laptop, they could surf Tubetube or Netflex or boogle some random stuff; his videogames, they could play something, but, for that he'd have to compete and do stuff with his fingers and they felt so twitchy and cold right now, and if he moved them in a certain way he could hear them almost snap, and he was already sweaty, and Connie wouldn't want to hang out with him to just have him be a wreck all the time for no reason and-

He paused. Allowed himself a moment to remember, then took a deep breath, counting seconds and offering himself platitudes just as he's been practicing, and let the thoughts slide. They didn't go away, just slipping to the back, but. No, they weren't important.

He found Connie's eyes again. Even softer than before. He suddenly noticed that one of his hands was covered with hers, warm. He smiled a quiet ‘thanks', appreciative, then looked around hesitantly a bit until settling on the laptop. He released a breath. “Can... can we watch something? Your choice.”

Connie's smile deepened. “Sure thing.”

And then they were both in bed, propped up against pillows and a wall, side by side underneath the blanket. Connie talked to him as she scrolled through various series to watch, Steven replying quietly every once in a while, and then they had their pick.

Connie rested her head on his shoulder as she settled in. Her hair was slightly ticklish against his cheek. Her body was a warm, familiar weight against his, fingers soft as they interwove again.

His hands started to feel less cold as he felt himself relax, too.

* * *

“Seriously!?”

Steven didn't feel as personally offended as Connie sounded, but he still felt an incredulous giggle bubbling out along her ranting as they watched the two characters lean in for an over the top kiss, romantic, bright lighting and all.

“This is so stupid! They didn't have any build-up!! I thought Laura _hated_ how Sean kept flirting with her despite her blatant disdain, but now she just accepts his love confession, just like that?? She didn't even look happy during their sudden date! What is this shit?!”

Steven looked back to the screen from gazing at her with a grin to find the spontaneous couple had moved from a dramatic kiss to full on making out against a tree. His breath caught in a wheeze as he got stuck between a shocked laugh and a sound of disgust. His free hand automatically moved near his eyes. He felt Connie burying her face in the slope of his neck with a groan. “I'm so done with this show.”

Steven nodded slightly, his breath slowly returning to him. “It is a.. pretty weird direction to take.” His grin felt like a grimace in his lips, but in a not so familiar way. Not like the... forced smiles he had gotten used to. No, this was a very real one, even despite the discomfort. His chest felt warm, like after a good belly laugh that left you breathless for a concerning amount of time. Which, he guessed, was... exactly what that was. Wow. Hadn’t felt that one in a long while.

Connie went and paused before the next episode automatically played. “Honestly, kissing always looks so gross from the outside, I don't really get why media likes showing it so much.”

Steven felt his chest tighten all of a sudden as his thoughts started working again. For better or for worse. His lips felt dry. “Does... Does it feel gross, too?”

Connie was still for a moment, then turned her stare to him. “I don't know. I've never kissed anyone before.”

He diverted his gaze, eyes blanking as he sagged a bit more into the pillows. “I... I have a guess at what it could feel like. Well, kinda... I- I kissed someone in a dream once. Don't remember who. Don't know how that works, maybe my imagination is completely wrong on it, but it felt... nice. Soft.”

His voice had gone quiet, careful. He was vaguely aware his face must have gone flushed. Was there longing in his eyes, or was that confusing feeling safe inside his weak heart?

He felt Connie's warmth becoming heavier against him. Her silence dragged on. Although, it didn't really register with how loud his thoughts had become.

Her voice was very soft when it finally arrived. “Would you... like to try?”

His breath caught in his throat once more. He felt a vague pain in his chest. It took a second, but he soon realized it was there because he wasn't sure he deserved this opportunity.

Did Connie really want this? Or was she just giving him a chance, trying to be supportive? Did she feel awkward, was she forcing herself to offer this? Was her heart beating in anxiety, tense under the weight of responsibility of having to provide him care?  
After all, it wasn't that long ago when he was still a monster. Who said this wouldn't hurt her? Who said _he_ wouldn't hurt her?

His teeth felt sharp in his mouth.

“Steven?”

His eyes focused just enough to process her face. It was worried. Of course. “Steven, we don't have to. Maybe I misunderstood... we can just.. talk, or move on, continue watching and relax.”

Her smile was so sweet. “Don't worry.”

“...No, I-I...” he gulped. His eyes dug into the blanket tightly wound around his twitching fingers. “I want to.” The proclamation felt too easy to slip out. He continued, because this was important. He wanted to understand. He needed to understand. “...do you?”

He heard a breath coming from her end. “I do.”

Those words... so sure, so tender. He forced his gaze upwards, to her eyes. That same sweet, lovely smile on her face. He allowed himself a moment of examination, to search all over, any sign she was lying or in discomfort. The only thing he came away with was nervousness, her hand poorly concealed to be clenched in the soft blanket.

He hesitated one last time, then weakly nodded. “Alright. Um... how do we...”

Connie blinked, and then she was shifting, putting a bit more distance between them so that they sat face to face. Her hands reached his cheeks, and suddenly there were warm fingers ghosting over his face, familiar and yet so new, and he found he couldn't tear his eyes away from hers. They were so pretty.

His own hands ached to move, to feel her face, pet her hair, wrap around her and embrace her gently, but when he raised one of them, he found it was trembling, and he could do no more than graze it against her cheek. There was a new kind of physical contact his mind was worrying over right now, after all.

And then the fingers on his own cheeks felt more solid, and then he was being pulled forwards, towards those beautiful eyes, and he felt like breath had left him all together. His mind and body was buzzing, anticipation and anxiety rolling over him in waves, and his raised hand had slipped just below her ear, a steadying presence. The eyes opposite of him fluttered closed.

In between his other panicky thoughts, he wondered if he should do that as well. But, before he had even registered it, his vision had already left him, and all that remained was the sensation of warmth. Softly pressing into his cheeks, thumping in his heart, a breath tangling with his own.

And then, on his lips.

It was like everything else had disappeared. There were lips on his lips, Connie's lips, and they were warm, and soft, and nice, and really, it felt like nothing and like everything, all at once. His breath caught, and that saved him from letting out a squeak as the pressure increased, and he found himself adjusting the tilt of his head and pressing back. He felt like melting. Like his entire core was burning, and he vaguely could feel his gem buzzing in his stomach. Or maybe it was the butterflies that people so often talked about. Either way, he felt like floating, and his other hand finally came up as well, gently holding Connie's face as he deepened the kiss.

Connie let out a cute squeak in response, and then there was something weird, and then he was gasping, and, before he realized, his tongue had hit something and he let out a sound before abruptly breaking the contact. He remembered that he had to breathe, and then his eyes opened, and when they did, he was met with Connie, face utterly flushed, staring back at him, eyes wide, pretty, and he felt like he was looking at the stars. She was so beautiful.

And then his eyes caught actual stars, little glow in the dark ones, on his wall, and he suddenly realised his feet weren't touching the ground. Instead, he was laying horizontal, underneath Connie, holding her up as she stared down at him, arms around his neck.   
He was floating, because of course he was.   
He felt so giddy, and a wide grin broke across his face, and then. He was giggling, and then Connie was, too, and he found himself hugging her tight, laughter bubbling in his chest and in the air around them, and tho it was evening, the sun starting to fall underneath the horizon, the room had never felt so bright.

In that moment, Connie was the only thing he knew. Connie's precious laugh and voice, Connie's beautiful eyes, Connie, warm, in his arms, the memory of Connie's soft lips against his, and then he felt them again, against his cheeks, nose, eyelids, and the only thing he could do was laugh, and kiss back, and feel like he was going to burst into becoming the sun from how much light Connie brought to his life.

“I love you, Connie. I love you so much.”

Connie hugged him tight, voice swathed in giggles and love, brighter than the brightest star in the universe he had ever seen. “I love you, too, goofus, so much. I love you.”

They both felt weightless for the rest of the night.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I was kinda thinking of Voltron when I was writing that fake scenario for an episode. Also, I've never kissed anyone, so this was uh, confusing to write, cause I have no idea how it all work, but. 
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading, and also for all the sweet and amazing comments people left on my last fic!! I've been meaning to reply to them, but I've just been very busy and I dunno how to talk to people, please know that I appreciate them so, so much, even if I never get around to responding <33
> 
> (Also, I might be working on a 2nd chapter for that vent fic, give a bit more hurt/comfort, so.. no promises, but yeah)


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